have some fucking empathy

i've been getting really into the whole occupy wall street protest, and i'm honestly really excited that the people are finally doing something. and i saw this post online today that just really pissed me off. it was basically saying that if you tried hard enough, you wouldn't have any financial suffering and if you are part of the "99%" that is your choice. as if someone would choose that! as if i choose to be mentally ill [which majorly contributed to dropping out of college and thousands of dollars in student loan debt] and to have medical emergencies and be bogged down with medical debt because if i did not get surgery i would be fucking dead. yeah i chose that. and everyone else out there chose all of their unfortunate circumstances too. fuck. it makes me so goddamn angry. but part of me says "they're right". because there's this part of me that believes that if i worked hard enough, if i was a good enough person, i could have found a way to make it all work out perfectly. and logically, there's no fucking way, but i still feel like punishing myself for not being perfect enough to have avoided terrible crushing circumstances....its all twisted and fucked up and i just feel like lashing out at someone....and the only person to do that to is ... me. duh. so yay another night of tearing myself to pieces over something i can't control and ruining tomorrow for me because i will be so physically/emotionally spent from tonight that how could eight hours of work not be terrible? so if you're one of those people who has heard about ows, and thinks that its just a bunch of lazy whiny people, and that if they worked hard enough they would have a good life, i invite you to walk a mile in my, or any of their, goddamn shoes. until then shut the fuck up and stop making me feel bad and triggering destructive/harmful episodes....