the great unknown

i'm on the verge of completely new territory. i'm actually possibly seeing someone...i mean it hasn't even gotten anywhere yet, there is just the possibility of everything. and thinking about all of the possibilities is sending me into this anxious frenzy. i don't date. i don't have relationships. i hook up, and even that is rare. this something is just...wow. i really just want to run away and not deal with any of it. just brush him off like i brush off everyone else. but in my whole adult life i've never even tried, so i think i need to at least attempt something once. i mean even my father thinks its about time. so this is it, this is my attempt at being like every other girl.....poor sucker