sdlkfjvcoibgu.ofiudsflidjfkdlcbjcvlkbcdjalksdfjsadlkf!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was feeling so good, so together this morning and then i come home from work and i just consume. i wasn't actually hungry, i wasn't punishing myself, i just had to eat. i'm just so mad at myself, that i can't even make it twenty four hours without stuffing my face. i'm such a fat failure. i can't even put into to words how much i hate myself right now. but i'm not going to do anything bad to myself. as much as i want to, i won't. because i'm going to call someone or text someone or something...just reach out so i don't do something dangerous because i'm a bad girl who needs to be punished.... slfdjsdlkfjdslk!!!! i don't know if i can do it, i've called two people and they're not there. i don't know if i can let myself reach out any more today. i mean, calling more than one person is a big thing.....beyond two, omg. i feel like, this is a time for like hardcore punishment, and i'm trying so so hard not to give in to that. but i don't know if i can stop myself, if i can't get anyone to stop me.......
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