not exactly the case

you know, a lot of people think that people overeat to deal with emotions. emotional eating they call it, eat to deal with the hurt inside. and i realized i eat to deal with physical hurt. now what do you call that? i don't think there is a term. because generally, when people have physical pain, they take a pill or something....or just suck it up. but apparently i'm too weak, so i eat to deal. little bitch. you know, you think after eight years, i would have a better coping method. and i guess i have various coping methods for my physical pain, but no matter what i do, i always seem to come back to food. and you know the sad thing, it really does work. yes, i feel like crap emotionally, but physically it actually helps. somehow it switches my focus so i can build that mental wall back up to block the pain (mostly). i think thats the most irritating thing, not the habit itself, but that it works. and i have to kick it. one of the few things that works, and its shit. it tears me apart emotionally......fuck me