"have you ever seen a fat jackrabbit? how about an overweight mountain loin? these animals live mostly in the wild, eating the foods that nature has provided. sodas, candy bars and chocolate chip cookies are not in their diet." ....i love taking random quotes from health/diet books and turning them into motivation. "if there's only junk food, don't eat!" ....unhealthy tips are found in the healthiest of places ;p ....i need something good to get me out of this piggy pig pig rut and on the road to emptiness. i'm trying to focus on other things besides food...i mean there are plenty of other things going on my life that i need to focus on; men, moving, weddings (not my own)....there is just so much that i should be doing and thinking about...but its all about food. fucking a. i'm honestly considering just getting a credit card, going to the doctor and getting medication (because a credit card is the only way i could afford medication and a doctor), just so i can have a smidgen of control over myself! jesus christ i can't take it anymore. if i'm not sobbing my eyes out and counting pills, i'm stuffing my face or making myself ill or some other extreme thing that is absolutely not enjoyable. ...when you boil it down, its all about food and death. and i just don't want to care about either anymore. i want to shut up the crazy voices...i want to swallow the pills and become a good little zombie....
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