today me and my sister/roomie went to the store, and she was grocery shopping and i was just picking up a few essentials like shaving cream. but we got to the candy aisle, and she was all like 'hey lets treat ourselves and get some candy!' and i don't want her to think that i'm not eating, and i don't want to encourage her ana behaviors (she has an ed) so i said sure and we bought a 3lb bag of gummy bears (it was a steal). so that we wouldn't eat it all at once, we divided the gummies into small portions in ziplock bags. and i took one of the bags to 'eat' while i went downstairs and did my homework. and while i was online doing my coursework i looked up the nutrition info etc and saw that hey, maybe i could try to eat a few because it wouldn't be so bad.[i know i'm still on my fast, but my stomach is growling like mad now no matter how much water i drink and people are starting to notice so i though maybe this would help that] i put one in my mouth and started to chew and it was like the absolute hardest thing in the world to eat it, and i could not do it. i had to spit it out. one gummy bear. and i love sugar. i love candy. so i'm kind of scared. i never thought it would become so difficult to eat one thing. but i said whatever it takes, and i meant it.
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