this is another reason i know i'm insane: tonight after having a b-move romantic comedy marathon with myself instead of drugging myself into sleep, i decided hey, not only do i believe in love but i am in love. i know its bullshit and that i'm just delirious right now. i just sorta brainwashed myself with all of this sappy bullshit....i am not really in love, but for now i have this little melodramatic love story playing out in my head in where i have already found the one but tragically will never be with him because i'm not going to burden him with my insanity when he already has to take care of the rest of the world; he deserves someone who he can lean on. ugh i need to stop taking such bad care of myself and making myself even worse. ugh. thats why if my melodrama weren't a figment of my imagination i couldn't burden him with my love....because i can't even take care of myself. maybe i should give up trying and go live on the mountain with my mother........fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck....
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