that's all i can think of tonight. i should be dead by now. thats what you get when you're bipolar and unmedicated....one week i'm all optimistic and happy happy joy joy and then the next i'm all doom and gloom. but really, i never thought i would live this long....i'm not sure exactly what my reasoning behind that was; i guess i thought i would do myself in somehow seeing as i'm so self destructive. either i would get myself into a dangerous situation as i often have before because i really don't care about my personal safety, or i would take my life in a deep depression. i mean, gosh i'm almost twenty two. i never even expected to be twenty, let alone on my way to mid-twenties. i think i need to man up and get it over with already....
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