this month has been really hard, and really crappy. i started it out with high hopes, and then crashed into darkness. but i'm turning that around. i'm working really hard every single day to become someone that i'm happy to be, that i can love. i don't like myself. i loathe myself and think that i don't deserve to live. but i've decided who i want to be and i'm working towards that. each little thing that i do that gets me closer to that makes me proud and helps me be confident in myself. like i want to be someone who doesn't let people walk all over them, and the other day, i let go of someone who only really ever hurt me. it may seem small, but for me that's a huge step and i was super proud of that. just that one thing, really picked me up and gave me confidence that if i can stand up for myself like that, like i never have, then i can turn this month around. these next two weeks may be rocky, but i know i can get out alive. i will make it one year.
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