not to be one of those silly people who are like "nobody understands me, nobody possibly could understand the pain i feel", but seriously it pisses me off when complete strangers think they get what i go through every day. like tonight, at this party, i don't know how we got on the topic, but somehow my being depressed came up. and this stupid guy kept telling me all of the things i've heard a million times before. and i explicitly told him, i've heard everything he said before, i don't care, it doesn't matter to me, and i don't want to be saved. and yet he kept trying to convince me that i needed to be positive. he said he had been at rock bottom, because he had been a meth addict for a year. a year. so there was a year in his life where he put substances in his body that fucked his life up. yeah, thats totally comparable to my situation. not. i was fucking born this way. my whole life. i did nothing to put myself here. its always been this way, and it will always be this way. its not like i can get over my addiction and the world will again be filled with sunshine. because i don't have a fucking addiction. and there never was sunshine. my world is a world of pain and suffering. there is no bright side to look at. thinking positively is only deluding myself and causing myself greater harm in the long run. but fucking assholes like that don't understand that. because they don't listen to what i tell them. they hear what they want to hear. so they can keep hearing their own voices, and feel like they're saving someone. i don't want a drunk asshole to save me. because he can't. nothing you say will help me. listen when i tell you this please, or next time i might give in to the urge to punch you.
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