when left is right

so i've been trying the new approach, and i like it. because i'm still hurting myself, so i'm still fulfilling my need to punish myself and make myself suffer, but its not ruining everything as much. instead of binging when i felt like not eating, i just didn't eat. and my waistline thanks me. instead of drinking too much when i really didn't feel like drinking, i didn't drink. and i felt good, but excluded being the only sober one so i was still getting punished. i haven't felt like cutting myself or anything like that, so we'll see how that goes when i get there. but so far, this going with the initial impulse is good. it makes me feel more in control somehow. which i know, seems ridiculous because giving into impulse is like the opposite of control, but thats how it feels. but we'll see how this works long term...i've only been really doing it for a week. it was hard to start doing. so i'm sure it'll be hard to continue. but i'm sure i'm up to the task. after all, i am superwoman :p