i've been doing a lot of thinking, because i just can't seem to shake this binge-starve-binge cycle. so i've been thinking about how things were before it was this bad. and i realized that i was a different person. so much has happened, and so much about me and how i see the world and myself has changed. so i can't go back to that place where it wasn't so extreme. but since i have changed so much to get to this point, i figure i can change some more to get someplace better. if that makes any sense. so i'm trying something different. instead of making rules and timelines etc like i usually do, i'm just going to try and be how i want to be. we'll see how that goes. but i think its a good place to start. and hopefully it'll start something different.
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