painting the roses red

when i'm depressed, almost all care for hygiene and appearance go out the window. the one thing that i always do keep up on, no matter what, is cleaning my ears. something about it just makes me feel okay. even if i haven't showered in a week, as long as i have freshly cleaned ears i feel clean enough. lately though, cleaning my ears hasn't been enough. i've felt a compulsion to polish my nails. i don't give myself regular manicures and i'll wear polish until it chips completely off, so its weird that just this week i've done my nails three times. lime green, dark purple, and turquoise. i've actually had to stop myself from doing them every night. because i have felt the urge to. i don't know what it is, or even if its a good thing, but i'm crossing my lovely freshly done nails and hoping that it means i'm cycling up. if not, well then i guess i have a new obsession. and look way more pulled together : p